“I am this kind of person that…”
“For me, you can’t do…”
“Well maybe it’s a background thing but where I come from…”
“Life is so complicated”
Have you heard those lines before? I am almost too certain of it.
Perhaps the most ingenious ‘extra’ that Mark put on Facebook is the ‘complicated’ option for relationship status. Is that a smile coming forth from you? Oh yeah! You know what I’m saying.
Life is a beautiful thing: a rare gift. And just as many extremely priceless things we can possibly have, life itself is very delicate. I have seen people unknowingly heap up the highest mountains of complications on their own life. They are so rigid and self-involved and self-absorbed that they just don’t seem to be able to see anything beyond that.
Usually, when people start with “I’m this kind of person that…” more than likely, they are trying to ‘prove some things’ to you. They want you to know that they have ‘standards’ and they are ‘high up there’ and you cannot just come and “drag them down” into something. Don’t get me wrong: you should, MUST, have standards but I’m not talking about you refusing to be brought into some disgraceful thing. I am talking here about when we let the balloon of our ego inflate unhindered to infinity.
We allow ourselves to get so full of ourselves that everything is “For me, I can’t do…” Come on man! Every discussion or situation is not an opportunity to service your very hungry ego. It’s alright to want to feel important. To want to look like we are well packaged and all together but we should not do that at the expense of another’s sense of pride and self-consciousness.
You see folks saying careless things about people and their backgrounds without understanding the consequences of what they are saying.
“Well maybe it’s a background thing but where I come from…” is one of the ‘wrongest’ expressions that exist in the world!
Don’t be arrogant. Just make your point.
We talk to people the way we want and we expect them to be mature and handle it but when people go very raw and blunt on us, we are stunned at people’s extremely alarming level of insensitivity and ‘poor communication skills’. We can’t keep a double standard in a world that barely has space for one.
After a while, we realize we have almost no friends and that the ‘friends’ we now have are the ones who couldn’t walk away because they need some favours from us. We become critical of life and highly irritable. We are quick to say “life is complicated and so messed up” but we never want to agree that we are its complication.
Maybe life is not that complicated after all. Maybe if I stopped waiting for life to happen to me and I started consciously ‘making a good life’ for myself and the folks around me, maybe, just maybe there will be a different description on my lips.
Akinola Akindamola Daniel
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