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The Power in A Gentle Answer. by Bola John

“A gentle answer makes a lot of Change.”

Have you ever tried answering a question directed to you softly and as gentle as you can although the person who asked the question is practically upset or might flare up because of the answer which you intend to give the person? If you did try it, am sure it all went well not because of the answer you gave the person but the way at which you spoke the answer BECAUSE You could say the same word to the same person in a loud and noisy way which may have a negative effect on the way the person reacts.

Like this Bible verse says:

A gentle response defuses anger but a sharp tongue kindles a temper fire- Proverbs 15:1

There is a thing about this verse I love so much. It is so short and simple but the words in this verse point out the truth we need to know. The verse reproves and also corrects us. It says a lot and it has been helpful for me in my Life because we go through different situations in which our anger may be triggered at anytime by anything or anybody.

Actually I seldom get angry because of the peace and grace of God in my Life but whenever I get angry, this verse helps me in co-ordinating myself and controlling the words I say. So instead of angrily spilling out words from my mouth, I take a deep breath, calm down and then answer the question as softly as I can. Although it’s not that easy, its worth it!

Below is an example I will like to point out to you in order to better pass across my point.

Recently, my younger sister as caring as she always is decided to teach my little brother ALGEBRA- a topic his mathematics teacher was yet to teach him because she wanted him to be ahead of other Classmates in Knowledge. I was impressed by her idea and also encouraged my brother to go learn Algebra as I read my Bible in the inner room.

They started out fine and my brother was learning with deep interest. He was seated by a table and my sister was sitting across the table so they were able to comunicate very well. Half- hour after the lesson commenced, I started hearing a shouty conversation among them so I immediately called them back to the room. Seeing my sister’s face as she entered the room, i undoubtedly knew she was very upset and my brother also looked fustrated. I was surprised by the expressions on their faces but I acted calm and indifferent. I sat them down and asked them “Watsup with you guys”. They were both talking at the same time and my trial to understand what they were saying was to no avail so I told them to calm down and I tried to persuade them to go continue the lesson but they were both adamant to return.

It dawned on me that they were not going to continue this lesson if I didn’t solve the problem between them so I asked my brother to tell me what went wrong and what my sister actually did, the same question was also directed to my sister. They gave me their honest replies and explained how they didn’t like the way the other behaved. After I heard the story behind the quarrel, I smiled and thought aloud “A gentle response would have solved all this, a good word said at the right time needed would have solved all this!” My little brother who loves shouting when he replies someone made my sister (who was a little bit upset because of the way he had been shouting at her when she rebukes him) more angry.

I solved the issue tactically, they both apologised to each other because they were both at fault and they resumed the lesson peacefully and I didnt hear any shout from them or didnt have to solve any misunderstanding between them till the lesson finished.


Most times in our day to day activities, we often encounter some scenario in which we are being embarassed by insults and mostly we are being misunderstood by people which leads to arguments but if we respond to these people maturely by carefully selecting the words we use to reply these people, we tend to extinguish the raging fire in their heart and also cool them down thereby resolving the issue and stopping it from initiating further problems


When we respond harshly or rudely because of their reaction and our temporary anger, we stir up more fire raging in them which makes the issue more complicated and more difficult to manage.

Like what ensued between my siblings, my brother embarssed my sister by his shouts and my sister got temporarily angry at him so she didn’t control her tongue, she started spilling out words she only spoke because of she was angry not because she actually meant it and this made the case more complicated and my brother as troublesome as he always is, instead of replying gently to her shouted more in anger and they turned the whole place upside down.

Reminder: When we are angry, we say words that kill, words that murder the person we are speaking to emotionally, mentally and maybe even spiritually.

Dear Friends, Let’s always remember this verse from day to day. It sure will help us!

Everyone must be quick to listen but low to speak and slow to become angry- James 1:19

Please ALWAYS ASK GOD FOR HELP TO USE WORDS FOR HIM. May he see you through as you do so in Jesus Name. Amen.

Have a Blessed Week.

follow @bolajackson_bj on Twitter.

Ike Amadi

Author of the book Do Something! I am an advocate of all things #fresh. I want to see you become a #dosomethingperson.

  • Bola John (The True)

    Woe to you pharisaical children of Satan

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