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I Hate The Doctor’s Chair.

I hate going to see doctors. I prefer to live by faith. I feel that I can have divine health. I do have divine health.

Early Monday morning, however, at about 5am, I felt a very sharp pain on my left ear. It was as though there was a knife cutting from within. I tried to recollect the events of the Sunday to decipher what must have engendered that acute pain. The only plausible reason that came to mind was my over exposure to sound. ‘But why was the pain in one ear?’ I questioned.

I almost did not go for the leadership meeting I was slated to attend at 11am and after ascertaining that my presence in the meeting was all-important, I had no choice but to go, albeit very late. On reaching there, I expressed my discomfort and prayers were said for me. I had faith that I was going to be healed.

My colleague, Flora Iton, however insisted that I saw a doctor. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to get well, but some other way. I had concocted a reason for that aberrant functionality of my left ear and I felt that after a few days it would disappear the way it came.

My ordeal attracted a wide range of reviews from my hearers and each one gave their own piece of advice based on how they perceived the situation. I even tried using surgical spirit, as I was made to understand that the vapor from the spirit might cause whatever was covering the ear to fade away but nothing changed.

By Wednesday, there was no pain, but I still felt as though there was something covering the ear. But what was? I didn’t know.

My dear friend, Mercy, after observing me for a minute said she could perceive a certain odor of soap from the ear. Now it started to get interesting. Of course I shower with bar soap and perhaps it was the odor from it. I let that pass. She insisted that I saw a doctor.

I didn’t want to go to a ‘General Clinic’, whose doctors I have previously seen administer treatment on patients with such lackadaisical attitude that you wouldn’t envy the sick person. I didn’t want to go to such place where I would be used as specimen and the cause of the irritation not ascertained in the end. I have seen, in time past, people subjected to several tests that didn’t have any link to the problem they were experiencing. Who were you to say no? For it would appear you do not want to be well.

After much ado, I finally take myself to a private clinic. The female doctor asked a few routine questions and looking through her specialized magnifying glass, observed a green substance in the left ear. She asked what green stuff I have been using lately in my ear. I was befuddled. I wondered what it was. Well, she took some flushing mechanism and seemed to clean the ear. What I saw was a green substance, a little thick which definitely coincided with the color of my soap. But really, was I thinking of something or someone that I let soap get into my ear?

The whole procedure cost me $78. The $27 consultation fee I could understand; the $27 flushing fee I could also understand. What I can’t get myself to understand is the $24 fee, for having me cover one ear with my hand, whilst trying to hear and repeat the numbers she was calling as she stepped away from me, in order to check if my hearing was ok. I so want to be a doctor right now.

The good news is my ear is fresher. I can hear you call my name, even from a mile.

If you need to see a doctor, please don’t hesitate, for they are God’s agents to ensure that you do not feel the pain you need not feel.

Ike Amadi

Author of the book Do Something! I am an advocate of all things #fresh. I want to see you become a #dosomethingperson.

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