We met really unplanned. A friend had introduced her niece to me and recommended that I marry her.
Her niece, however, refuses to have my time – sad.
Somehow I get to know her aunt, Eve.
In the beginning everything is pretty flat and we deal on very respectful grounds.
As time goes on, she begins to notice my affectionate laughter saying that she loves to hear me laugh. What else could be more than that?
Knowing that I was not boring her caused me to further relax. We know that when one is relaxed the best comes out even better. I started flowing with such refined expediency shattering every barrier of doubt and creating strong building blocks of love. Such was our friendship. One built on d foundation of freedom.
Overtime, we found other exciting ways to communicate; shared our interests and exchanged views on issues that concerned us. These sessions have always been enlightening to say the least. She was a singer and I was a writer. What more could we desire?
She shared her songs with me and I shared my book ideas with her.
This went on for a while. I knew when her tooth hurt and she knew when I needed a massage. It seemed like we had known each other forever.
And then that day everything seemed to take a new dimension.
I had come home very tired. I just needed to lay my head down and marry my bed. Before finally knocking off I decided to check my mail one last time.
– “I wonder When I can catch you on skype” was the message I saw.
– “In a few minutes if you’ll still be there”, I replied.
We hadn’t spoken in a while and I had planned the gist for 15 mins so that I could sleep, for as I said earlier, I was really tired.
– “Oh hi,” and the night gist had started.
We gently moved into the conversation shifting gears as time went on. Forward ever, backward never.
– “Have you commented on my status?” She asked me.
– “oh, which of them?”
– “just check please.”
Off I went to her facebook page and I saw the status – ‘I have butterflies in my stomach – I don’t know what that means.’
Immediately I leave a comment: “means you are in love . Now who is this lucky person. Tell us please.”
Part2……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….-‘wait, don’t tell me it is what I am thinking?’ I asked her.
-‘Oh well, it depends on what you are thinking. What exactly are you thinking?’
-‘I think its best you said what is on your mind,’ I said smiling.
There was no need being smart with her. I have learnt that the ladies are always smarter. When a man thinks he is
smarter, he is sure closer to getting into trouble. It is always safer to know that you aren’t smart, that way you brace up and your intuition is sharper.
-‘So was I right about your status?’
-‘oh yes,’ she said shyly. She never lies. Today wasn’t going to be the first.
-“Well, you see, I guess I started having feelings for you,” she continued, clutching her pillow as we communicated
-“Interesting… I thought that it was obvious that the arrangement was platonic, or did I in any way do something
that showed otherwise?”
“It is. I understand. But when you said you were coming online in a few minutes, I got a little restless and that
was when the butterflies started.”
I laughed so hard.
-“Why are you laughing?” she asked me.
-“Oh well, i guess tis the genuineness of your words that crack me up.”
– “now you are making me shy.”
– “oh dont be. we are cool like that,” I warmly reassured her.
– “Would you want to see a song I wrote for you?”
– “A song for me? wow, awesome! yea, sure. Let’s see it please.”
And then she showed me the song. It was the coolest love song I have ever heard. wow, If she can write this song about me now that we are just friends, I mean, imagine what’s gonna happen when we are in a relationship. wow! The lines were altogether unique. Not because it was written for me, but because I could smell talent right there. Oh what a fine singer she was! I guess i didn’t have to expect less. Some people just can write and sing songs. I guess God didn’t give me that talent – the song writing talent.
Of all the amazing lines of the song, I would never forget one line: ‘Sunny mornings. I’ll give you sunny mornings.’ Boy! that was it. That was the killer strike. It got to my heart. It was the best line ever. Sunny mornings. who didn’t want sunny mornings?
I took a minute and tried to analyze the whole thing like a business deal. What was the feasibility ratio? Is it feasible or will it be the chasing of the wind? Is it what I really wanted to do? Ah! But the sunny mornings….
Why is it that the people we expect to hear these words from never say it to us. We have people ready to love us but we choose to love other people for whatever reasons there might be. And unfortunately, those we want to love do not love us back as they are busy loving another…and the cycle goes on and on.
This was the umpteenth time i am faced with this situation. That time when you just have to make a decision. When the value on the scale is changed. When you can either choose to walk away or re-balance things to the way they were.
– “I appreciate the fact that you are being honest about your feelings. But I don’t think it would be good for this friendship,” I told her.
– “But why?”
– “You see, when emotions come into things like this they spoil the beautiful thing we already have going on. They come with expectations, sometimes undue expectations, and a kind of burden that i don’t think i will want to carry. Moreso, we are worlds apart. I’ll prefer we do not start what we cannot finish. Please.”
– “Don’t worry. It is only a crush I have on you. With time it will pass,” She said to me.
– “Now this doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about you in that fashion before. But you know, I gotta remind myself
that it will be a wild goose chase.”
– “Oh I feel a lot better hearing that. Shows it’s not just me that has crush issues. So we cool?”
– “Sure we cool,” I said, happy that things were back to normal again.
By this time we’ve talked for about two hours. I needed to catch some shut eye. We exchanged goodbyes.
– “What an interesting night!” I said even as I curled into my blanket, said my prayers and dozed off, smiling.
It’s been two weeks and no word from her. I have written and written and still no word from her. Perhaps she got
tired of playing the game.
Winter is coming. Now I miss her… and the sunny mornings!
But really, can I of a truth say that i didn’t have feelings for her? what of those nights I slept thinking of her… and the days that weren’t complete until i had heard from her? And those sweet words that sporadically emanate whilst talking with her? Or did they not say Love brings out the best in us?
But now she’s gone…now I miss her very much. I guess I’ve gotta do something about it.
Yes, I must do something!
@ikeamadi on Twitter.