Marriage is a life decision. One of those decisions that will either give you eternal pleasure or put you in an eternal prison. And as long as you desire to have a fresh wife or husband, you must take this matter of finding the right mate seriously.
Truth is, If you want to find the right mate, you need to first of all become the right mate.
All of us human beings are magnets: living magnets. You don’t attract what you want, rather you attract who you are.
In the same way, you don’t attract who you desire to marry: slim fit, no pimples, rich, Lekki home-owner, rather you attract whom you are or hope to be.
It all begins with vision.
Your decision today concerning who to marry is a decision that will impact your life 20, 30 years from now. It is about the future, and that capacity to see into the future 20, 30 years from now, is a function of wisdom, which is a function of maturity. The more accurately you can decipher the future, the more accurate your decisions will be today. If in future, you see yourself becoming a CEO, that will help you recognize the opportunities, and the people that will help you become one.
If your mind is filled with poverty, you can’t recognize opportunities for prosperity.
Once you have that vision, it will determine the kind of person you’ll marry. You have to define the future now.
People never think beyond today. But for you to choose the right mate, you must learn to think tomorrow!I’ll give you a basic example. If I see myself as an international speaker 5 years from now, I will be careful to choose a wife who has a passion for what I do, and wouldn’t mind traveling from country to country. She must be willing to give out her knowledge and also love to be on the big screen, as there will be plenty of functions to attend with magazine interviews as well.
Or if a pastor, then you must marry a very spiritual woman, who can assist you in ministry, who wouldn’t frown too much if you decide to fast for days on end. She must be hospitable too.
Same goes for you young lady, what kind of picture do you have of your future (vision)? That will greatly determine the man you should say yes to. If you want to do business, then you must ascertain that your man is such that loves business and will not box you into becoming a house wife.
The you in that picture is the magnet that will attract everything else that you see in that picture.
My encouragement to you is, “Become the person in the vision.” To attract everything else in the picture, you must grow into the size of the person you see in the picture. You must become the right mate first.
To recognize the right kind of a person for you to marry, you need to grow. You need to mature, you need to become the kind of person that will attract the ideal kind of person.
Everything that you need to fulfill your destiny is already provided.
The person you are going to marry is alive already. It is not your praying and fasting that will cause God to remember that you need to marry now, in order to create the person and put him or her in his or mother’s womb.
Your husband is around. Your wife is around, but you must undergo training, development, and growth.
As a man, you need to become a good husband material, and as a lady, a good wife material.
There are four basic areas a person must grow – spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally (socially).
For you to be able to be attract God’s purpose for your life, you need to grow spiritually. How do we know when one has grown spiritually?
1)You develop the ability to hear from God.
2)You put absolute trust in God.
3)You obey God.
When you aren’t spiritual, you might be carried away by the external features of a man or woman, and miss God’s purpose for you.
Then you need to grow in wisdom I.e, mentally, sharpen your intellect. Acquire life skills, make sure there is at least one thing you can do, that will aid you support your future family.
You’ve also got to sharpen your communication skills, because marriage is 85% communication. Have you developed tact? Prov 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath. Tact is your ability to know a person’s reaction to your purposed utterances. You need to learn to live with people if you are to attract the ideal man or woman. These inform emotional growth.
So you see, it is actually easy to attract the ideal woman, just be the ideal man!
You’ll marry well!