“I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.” – A woman.
I won’t claim to be an expert in women affairs. However, there are a few things a man must know if he is to be respected in his home.
I believe that there are very few ladies out there who will whole-heartedly follow a man in the absence of material endowments.
A man must be a man, both in the house and in the office. A woman is naturally very proud of her husband who has had reasonable success in life. Loving him and being loyal to him becomes very easy. She can easily settle in and begin to change the house into a home. If however the man doesn’t yet have a house, in this case, a job or something from which he can support his family, he puts the burden of making a house on his wife, when indeed she should be making a home. What this portends is that she will spend most of her time trying to build a house for the both of you – something you should have taken care of before inviting her into your life, and eventually the ‘home’ will be left in disarray, unattended.
Why do you think there is a high spate of divorce in several European countries these days? It is certainly because both man and woman are working to support the family, which should not be.
Call me old-fashioned, but a woman whose only dream in life is to achieve this and that, not being first a supportive wife, has no business being in a home. When the woman, like the man, has worked 9 hours, what time does she have to take care of the kids and take care of her husband?
“How about me, a young smart lady, who is already in my 6th year studying medicine?” you ask. Timing is everything. If you are able to forego your dreams for a few years in order to see your family blossom, then, in my opinion, your home will be fresher and long lasting.
Back to the guys, we need to take our eyes off ladies, who could be distractions if not managed very well. Let us work hard at building ourselves – intellectually, spiritually, and physically; so that the end of the day when we are able to achieve some measure of success, one can bring in a lady who will now massage you, calm your nerves and bear children for you.
The Bible says that, ‘The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil’ Eccl 9:9. If we then begin to reap the reward for a battle we have not fought, then we are creating a vacuum which chaos will be happy to fill. How fresh is that? Food for thought! Let us not carry too many burdens at once. Take it one at a time and see things fall in place in your life.
To the ladies once again, if you see a man who is standing, and has a vision of where he is going, and is making conscious efforts to achieve his aim in life; a man who values dignity of labor and is not always willing to take the short cut, my fine dears, marry him! This is why, when I sit quietly in my room, apart from the pomp and pageantry, I pray to God to have mercy on me, to bless me and make my path shine brighter and brighter; for if that is achieved, getting a woman into the house will be secondary, and without any problems whatsoever.
To the men, your family, knowing that the woman you chose was not the reason for not reaching the acme of your personal and professional development, will give you their full-fledged blessing. Everyone will see it and smile, and say, of a truth, this man indeed needs a helpmeet. He has done something, let him relax and enjoy the freshness a woman can offer.
One more important question: “I am already in a relationship, even though I have not reached the apex of my achievements in life. What should I do? Should I let her/him go?” Certainly not, more so, if you have already pledged your loyalty and are more than certain she is the one your spirit yearns for. In that case, you must ensure that your relationship is one that aids and complements your spiritual and intellectual development. Are you a burden to her, or is she a burden to you? Does she encourage you to strive to greater heights or reach out for more spiritual exploits? In some cases, the relationship paves a way for them to discover themselves in different dimensions. Perhaps, have one more encouraging voice telling you, ‘yes you can’, one more wise counselor, one more guardian angel urging to flee youthful lusts and study your Bible more; One more kind eye to go through your school work and tell you it is possible; one more gentle voice reassuring you that the best is yet to come for you and yours. In that case, ride on and make positive use of that platform.
Let me leave you with a quote, nay two: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” – Jane Austen and “If you have money, men think you are wise, handsome, and able to sing like a bird”
Do you see a man, who has a house you can convert into a home? Marry him!